nothing to display.

Nothing. To. display.
No numbers.
Yuck.
Obese.
Fatty fatty fatty!
Binge, purge.
Cut up knuckles.
Teeth marks.
Acid erosion.
Lower
Smaller
Tighter
Lighter.
Spin out
Black out
Pain
Insanity
Self destruction,
Life?

006.

this weekend was a complete fail.
i ate triffle in my SLEEP.
pasta & a creamy sauce at G's house so no-one else there would notice.
cookies.
chips.
badbadbad.
i'm pleased to say i've neither gained nor lost.
so that's a bonus.
special k challenge today.

wishmeluck.

6lb to go...

005.

today went pretty well.
i ate pretty much normally *gasp*
but just had less.
6 small "meals/snacks" throughout the day, whenever i got hungry.

intake:
omlette: 120
yogurt: 91
salad with baked soya beans: 108
apple: 44
galaxy ice-cream: 120
cheese & onion roll: 195
soup: 68
total = 746 calories

it was under 600 calories but then i had the roll..

output:
BMR: 1300
25 minute dog walk: 79
total = 1379

CW: 105lb
STGW: 100lb - 5lb to go
LTGW: 90lb - 15lb

♥

time for some jessica tovey thinspo..

i swear home & away is just the best thinspo when she's on!
because i'm in the uk, i'm behind & currently it's when she's in rehab & when she was walking around her legs were just so skinny, i love it.
you would not believe how difficult it is to find decent pictures of her!

004.

i broke the fast
woke up just before 5am, my chest was so tight i could barely breathe, serves me right for insisting the cat sleeps in my room.
i weighed myself first, no change at all.
(well 0.2lb gain but it's probably water weight)
so i had a 1/4 slice of pizza :/
AT 5AM.
piggypiggypiggy.
oink.
half of that pizza is roughly 360 calories so i had 180ish.
i was supposed to be having 200 today. that's ruined already.
i ended up eating over 1400 calories.
no exercise.
ARGH.
such a fatty.
i won't list what i ate on here because it's too shameful.
basically no veggies or anything.
failure.
i see my friend F at the weekend, she's so skinny it makes me cry, i'll try & get some photos ;)

wherethefuckismywillpower?


♥

003.

so my fast today went well :)
probably the first time i've managed a whole day, not counting being ill though.
i have no will power, it's disgusting.
kinda chose today for my fast as today would've been mine & crazy boys 2 year anniversary. i know i should just get over it but part of me doesn't want to, i like the emptiness i've created, the more i think & the more i upset myself the less i want to eat.
so i'm probably destined to be heartbroken for the rest of my life.
i can cope with that :)
on the plus side, after eating like a pig yesterday i've lost another lb! hurrahh.
i think it's those herbal weightloss pills i found in the boot of my mums car, "potters boldex" anyone else tried them?

all i had today was:
2 & a half cups of peppermint & nettle tea
2 & a half cups of green tea with lemon
4 cups green tea with lemon & ginger
(i say half as i used an abnormal sized cup & it pretty much equals to 2 & a half for 2 cups.
went for two walks, one 1 mile (25-30 minutes, forgot to check time!) & one 1.6 miles (45 minutes)
(also, i didn't cry today, not once.)

intake:
n/a

output:
BMR: 1300
walking;
1st walk: 103
2nd walk: 155
total = 1558

CW: 105lb
STGW: 100lb - 5lb to go
LTGW: 90lb - 15lb

♥

002.

rolo cookies.
you were always going to be my downfall.
:(

input:
30g special K - 109
50ml semi skimmed milk - 50
1x bakewell slice - 157
2x maryland cookies - 114
2x rolo cookies - roughly 500?! D:
2x sesame seed bun - 260
minstrone soup - 71
breakaway bar - 99
total = 1360

NONONO.
bad!!! ARGHHH.

outtake:
BMR - 1306
25 sit-ups
10 squats

fasting tomorow, then 2-4-6-8.

current weight : 106lb
short term goal weight : 100lb - 6lb to go
long term goal weight : 90lb - 16lb to go

♥